Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Reason #153: Everybody Poops

I'll be honest: there are days that it's hard to find a good topic for this blog. There's frequently more bad news than good where the federal government is concerned, and even on the good days, I can only say so much about gay marriage and immigration. But there are some days when the blog pretty much writes itself. Jew Pond yesterday was one of those times. And then today I came upon what might be the most perfect example of anti-spending lunacy I could ever hope for.

Last November, a $42 thousand spending request was presented to Trenton, New Jersey's City Council for a year's supply of paper products for government facilities. This, to City Council, seemed like a lot of money for paper products.

Upon looking over the request in what I'm sure was exhaustive detail, it was determined by some that the unit price for coffee cups was too high. The debate this determination set off rages on to this very day, some four months later.

But why is this news now, you ask? Well, because without a handy donation from PETA (long story), and an I-shit-you-not emergency appropriation of $16 thousand just this morning, the city of Trenton would have run out of toilet paper.

Well not, like, the entire city - just the government. Meaning the police and fire departments, senior centers, the local museum, and City Hall, among others. Detective George Dzurkoc was asked about the situation at the police department, and I'm going to quote his response straight from this article because it's fucking uncanny that someone working for a news service actually had to write these words:

"He said the men's rooms are completely bare and just a few rolls are left in the women's rooms."
While the potty emergency was ultimately averted and new supplies of toilet paper began arriving today, it's my understanding that the overall paper product crisis continues - because why pay four thousand dollars for coffee cups when you've already got plenty of those little water-cooler cone things?

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