Monday, April 2, 2012

Reason #166: Mass Devastation is Highly Likely

In the aftermath of the Joplin, MO tornado killing 161 people last year, one of the findings was that too many people were disregarding the warning system.

Apparently, three of of every four tornado warnings that have historically been issued under the National Weather Service's current system end up not resulting in, y'know, tornadoes, and so people get so used to them that they don't think to do anything about it until their houses start imploding.

As a result of these findings, a new three-tiered system is being tested this year in select areas of Kansas and Missouri (how'd you like to be the guinea pig for a disaster-warning system?) that utilizes more plain, yet deliciously overwrought, language for the most severe scenarios.

Example phraseology includes "Complete Devastation Likely", "Mobile Homes And Outbuildings Will Offer No Shelter", and what I hope to god is the most severe warning, "Unsurvivable".

The new warnings will be kept in place until November of this year, with possible further testing in other areas next year. So be on your best behavior, Kansas and Missouri, or you'll ruin it for the rest of us.

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